While the cat's away...

I'm headed to Texas to retrieve my mother this Thursday. And I've been prepping Nan for my absence...rather than focusing on her being without me, I've been zeroing in on the most helpless human in my household (at least that's how I'm portraying him...and the dogs, too). And my little doppleganger caught right on...I couldn't be more proud!

Susan: So, who's going to make sure Daddy eats while Mommy is gone? And who is going to make sure he puts his dirty clothes in the hamper? And who is going to make sure he cleans up if the dogs have an accident on the floor (and that he doesn't just throw a towel on it and walk away)? Who's going to make sure the lights get turned off when you guys leave the house? Who's going to make sure the dishes get washed and the laundry gets done? Who's going to love on Daddy and Herschel and Macy when they miss Mommy? Hmm...I wonder who could do all of these things? Oh dear....

Nan: A list.

Susan: What, honey?

Nan: I can do them things! But I need a list. A list with pictures...I can't read yet, 'member? If I have a list, I can do all of the Mom things. I think. Yeah...I can do them if I have a list. I can put it on the 'frigerator and look at it.

Susan: Thanks, big helper.

Mmmm...steak!

While eating dinner the other night, Nan was taking her sweet time chewing a piece of London Broil. Uncle Fish asked her if it was good, and she replied...wait for it, folks:
"Yeah. It's like gum."
I guess we should've used the meat tenderizer after all.

She sees God...

In the car (several weeks ago) this conversation took place:

Nan--Where is heaben?
Me--Not really sure. Lots of people think it's in the sky, but I'm not really sure it's a place you can see from here.
Nan--God is in duh sky, Mommy. Hab you seed God?
Me--No...we don't get to see Him until we die and go to live with Him in heaven.
Nan--No, Mommy. God is in duh sky. Yook. I see Him foot up dare. (points to the clouds)
Me--Oh...you mean that cloud looks like a foot! Great, honey!
Nan--No, Mommy!!! Not a cloud. Him foot is right dare....hanging out dem clouds.
Me--Ohhh...is God wearing shoes?
Nan--No, silly goose!!!!
Me--My bad.

The US is officially a monarchy, folks....

In Disney (after trying on a fab crown), Nan announced to all around: "I'm duh Queen ub America!"

Pre-Occupation with Morning Breath

To her Daddy: "Dad...Ewww...your breath smells like pudding. And corn. And poop."
(I guess it's a good thing Shannon doesn't ever read my blogs)

Starting with Today...

I can't remember many of the things Nancy Ann has said to me over the past four years. This makes me so sad. Amidst the business of grad school, work, and life in general, I have lost so many many special Nan-isms. I refuse to let this happen anymore. I am now going to record these little gems of her childhood and will hold onto them because they are so very precious....
#1 All-Time Famous Nan-ism: "I can't know." (used instead of "I don't know")
Example: "What do you want to eat for dinner, Nan?"
Nan- "I can't know!" (said with either great incredulity or general apathy)

Today's Nan-ism: " That's a lovely armpit you hab dare."